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RP Archives 2005-2019 / A Bathing Beauty...
« Last post by Baba Yaga on February 06, 2016, 11:55:27 AM »It was the wet clamour that came from the dilapidated bathroom that stirred Baba Yaga from her beauty sleep, and with a rumble and grumble which came from her throat slowly one eye opened. An empty socket, a hallow cavity all festering and maggoty, yet some though it was of course one of her most attractive features. A clawed, wrinkly hand searched through the clutter of miscellaneous items from magically powered vibrators, rusty old titty-clamps and dried up extremities strewn shamelessly upon the bedside table. Mumbling incoherently to herself amongst vile words and potent curses⦠in search for the single glass of water, containing her most valued and precious item⦠her âonlyâ eyeball. â âEreâ¦whurâs my fookinâ eye, yer long-titted scrutom butlah!?!â
Unclear whether she was talking to herself, or the fat-assed warty swamp-hog now splooshing about in the bathtub. No doubt giving the old plunger a good workout while flipping, flopping, flapping and fapping like an epileptic whale doing its mating dance to whatever other sea-life that was misfortunate enough to cross its path. âOi, yer old arse-breath'd sausage-suckinâ stumpetâ¦whurâs ma fookinâ eye???!!!â Still fighting to find the glass, Baba Yaga begrudgingly sat up from the slimy, sweaty, pungent grime-ridden bed from which she slumbered. The imprint of her flabby, unkempt form remained sunken into the mattress left a reminding horror that âWeight Watchersâ truly does not work with its cutsey little rabbit-salads and polite chipper cheesecakes.
âDeemonized bunghole-flapmouth, aâsaid whurâs my bleedin' eyeball??â Yelled out quite loudly, the crackle and gravelesque timbre that broke the dusty morning light streaming through the tattered curtains scuttled to the shadows like a curr hound kicked by its master. âAâcanât wotch ma darn soapies without ma eyeball, koont-lipped anus slappah!â Huffing heavily, trying to fight the matted birds-nest mess of knotty grey hair that hugged around her neck in reminisce of an affectionate viper, fighting free of it was about was fruitless as clawing through a thorn patch and ensnared by the cooter and curlies.
Lengths of ragged nightgown dropped to the floor, covering the snuggle-teethed tips of toenails, groaning the old witch rose to her feet⦠scratching the cellulite mounds of her arse, and digging in deep twixt the cheeks. âOoooo ma arse! Ma arseâ¦.â And like Moses parting the Red Sea, Babaâs right hand was all up and in it⦠a furrowed expression wrinkling what was already an incredibly aged face, time after all had not been so kind- despite all the diabolical magick, all she really had was glamour during certain auspicious hours and those hours were usually around her soapie hour. âTwattinâ wytch-bottlesânâgrimalkins!â
Hobbling towards where the door was thought to be, saggy tuckshop arms flapping in the motion as they waved about in front of her. Blindly seeking until the eye located in the middle of her withered rugous forehead lazily opened. âFook off back ta sleep!â Viciously poking it right in the middle of its moist center. âA gots no tyme for ya shenanigins Furgus, so fook yer.â It was then that in silence she cursed that bloody Jizz Lord KnobGoblin, Beesknees Bonearse. The tossing gloryhole plonker.
It was his sodding exploding pink birthday that took out both her eyes with its burning glitter candles playing âHappy Birthdayâ, fucking Happy Birthday indeed. Not even Whizzpopper the Duck had been himself since, no longer finding refuge in the cavernous comforts of summery snatch, a place Baba had placed to the similarities of Bora Bora. Nothing had quite been the same since, and now the twittering cock-slapper Sycorax was gleefully singing away to herself about, phallus, waffles and foot wanking⦠well the word sounded like ââ¦.fundle ma furt whanking, wif ya disco bukake shyaft ballsssss.â to her demented head-holes full of wax and nut-butter.
âQuet ya rookus n schot ya dippinâ twunt sucker, ya makinâ ma goaste wanna take oufff on its own arse waginâ and get the fook outta Dodge. O' Jeesyus weeps.â Walking face first into the door with a loud and thunderous âTHUD!â totally pressing Babaâs pliable features so they sunk within the drooping flesh, except with the dentures that popped out of her jowls and proceeded to viciously bite on the tip of one big toe causing the decrepit old witch to howl in pain⦠âOOOO MA FOOKINâ TOE!! OW OW OW OW!! TREECHEROUSâ¦â Losing track of the other attempting words of insult and finally in one final bout of frustration and anger âFOOKIN FONDLINâ SLUT-BISCUIT! TA THE DEEVIL WIF YA, TA THE DEEVIL INDEED A SAYS!â Fist banging loudly on the bathroom door while hopping to and fro at the demonically possessed dentures snapping wickedly at Babaâs feet.
Unclear whether she was talking to herself, or the fat-assed warty swamp-hog now splooshing about in the bathtub. No doubt giving the old plunger a good workout while flipping, flopping, flapping and fapping like an epileptic whale doing its mating dance to whatever other sea-life that was misfortunate enough to cross its path. âOi, yer old arse-breath'd sausage-suckinâ stumpetâ¦whurâs ma fookinâ eye???!!!â Still fighting to find the glass, Baba Yaga begrudgingly sat up from the slimy, sweaty, pungent grime-ridden bed from which she slumbered. The imprint of her flabby, unkempt form remained sunken into the mattress left a reminding horror that âWeight Watchersâ truly does not work with its cutsey little rabbit-salads and polite chipper cheesecakes.
âDeemonized bunghole-flapmouth, aâsaid whurâs my bleedin' eyeball??â Yelled out quite loudly, the crackle and gravelesque timbre that broke the dusty morning light streaming through the tattered curtains scuttled to the shadows like a curr hound kicked by its master. âAâcanât wotch ma darn soapies without ma eyeball, koont-lipped anus slappah!â Huffing heavily, trying to fight the matted birds-nest mess of knotty grey hair that hugged around her neck in reminisce of an affectionate viper, fighting free of it was about was fruitless as clawing through a thorn patch and ensnared by the cooter and curlies.
Lengths of ragged nightgown dropped to the floor, covering the snuggle-teethed tips of toenails, groaning the old witch rose to her feet⦠scratching the cellulite mounds of her arse, and digging in deep twixt the cheeks. âOoooo ma arse! Ma arseâ¦.â And like Moses parting the Red Sea, Babaâs right hand was all up and in it⦠a furrowed expression wrinkling what was already an incredibly aged face, time after all had not been so kind- despite all the diabolical magick, all she really had was glamour during certain auspicious hours and those hours were usually around her soapie hour. âTwattinâ wytch-bottlesânâgrimalkins!â
Hobbling towards where the door was thought to be, saggy tuckshop arms flapping in the motion as they waved about in front of her. Blindly seeking until the eye located in the middle of her withered rugous forehead lazily opened. âFook off back ta sleep!â Viciously poking it right in the middle of its moist center. âA gots no tyme for ya shenanigins Furgus, so fook yer.â It was then that in silence she cursed that bloody Jizz Lord KnobGoblin, Beesknees Bonearse. The tossing gloryhole plonker.
It was his sodding exploding pink birthday that took out both her eyes with its burning glitter candles playing âHappy Birthdayâ, fucking Happy Birthday indeed. Not even Whizzpopper the Duck had been himself since, no longer finding refuge in the cavernous comforts of summery snatch, a place Baba had placed to the similarities of Bora Bora. Nothing had quite been the same since, and now the twittering cock-slapper Sycorax was gleefully singing away to herself about, phallus, waffles and foot wanking⦠well the word sounded like ââ¦.fundle ma furt whanking, wif ya disco bukake shyaft ballsssss.â to her demented head-holes full of wax and nut-butter.
âQuet ya rookus n schot ya dippinâ twunt sucker, ya makinâ ma goaste wanna take oufff on its own arse waginâ and get the fook outta Dodge. O' Jeesyus weeps.â Walking face first into the door with a loud and thunderous âTHUD!â totally pressing Babaâs pliable features so they sunk within the drooping flesh, except with the dentures that popped out of her jowls and proceeded to viciously bite on the tip of one big toe causing the decrepit old witch to howl in pain⦠âOOOO MA FOOKINâ TOE!! OW OW OW OW!! TREECHEROUSâ¦â Losing track of the other attempting words of insult and finally in one final bout of frustration and anger âFOOKIN FONDLINâ SLUT-BISCUIT! TA THE DEEVIL WIF YA, TA THE DEEVIL INDEED A SAYS!â Fist banging loudly on the bathroom door while hopping to and fro at the demonically possessed dentures snapping wickedly at Babaâs feet.