He had passed out, falling asleep again in the middle of Validrirâs sentence. Apparently Anderen was much weaker then even he was aware of, so, against his will, he was unable to respond to the kind hosts question. He drifted once more and ever further into his vivid, message like dreams as he was embraced first by darkness, and then the images that had always plagued him and had always been on his mind. Though the images were the same as always, they did, however, have a new feeling of peace and acceptance to them. Almost as if he had finally come to terms with the pains of his past, both felt and inflicted, and as if he had finally grown to accept that in the past, he was much different from now. With that conscious realization on his mind, even though he was sound asleep, Anderen felt as if a massive weight were being lifted from his shoulders.
For the first time in years he felt almost free, and at peace with himself and his bloody history. It was then that his dreams switched from the images of his pain and suffering and his past sins to the image of the beautiful woman that had blessed him with her presence earlier. Anigav, the angel within the sword, she was there standing before him, with a look of love and happiness emanating from her face and even her mere presence. Her lips parted as she began to speak, âWell done, Anderen. You have finally learned to forgive yourself and stop judging yourself, even punishing yourself in search of some sort of forgiveness, when all along you were forgiven for your sins long ago. Now, take the final step away from the darkness, Anderen. It is easy to stay here and sleep until you die, but it requires great strength of mind, body, and spirit combined to survive your sorrows and travel the path of righteousness. You must be strong, Anderen. For yourself, before others.â
Once she finished speaking, she again drifted forward towards him and gave him another kiss, this time on his other cheek, and as she pulled back she spoke again, âI have now blessed you twice. Thrice done and you will be akin to an Angel in power and understanding yourself, yet as things are now you are still unworthy. When the time comes, we will both know and I will appear before you again. Until then, you must find your own way to me on your own, at which time we will be in a perfect union. Until then, you are alone, though I am still with you within yourself and the sword. I am the inner light all beings possess, buried by the endless layers of darkness, and I have been granted the pleasure of shaping your destiny. Rest easy, child.â she said as she vanished. Though she herself did not speak it in his vision, he heard the following words in his mind as clearly as if they were spoken face to face, âRemember, however, that all powers and blessings so easily granted are just as easily taken away. Be strong, Anderen.â
After that, there was silence in his mind, as he began to wake up after what he felt had only been a few minutes, but certainly not the hour it had been. His eyes opened and though he was still laying on his back on the floor, his head was still turned towards the doorway, so the first thing he saw was the servant that had remained. âWho are you?â he asked, and the servant told him, saying his name and what orders his Lord Validrir left him with. Anderen nodded, and rolled over, remembering the message Anigav had given him. It hurt like hell to move, but as she said it was easier to stay here and die then it was to stand up and survive. He had to. He had no choice. He needed food, nourishment, water, and human contact. He needed to stop regretting his past and his inner demons and open himself up to his new life, and the new chances to be at peace that were endlessly presenting themselves daily, if only he had the courage to notice. He would let his past and his hate weigh him down no longer, and with that thought he pushed himself to his feet, reborn in mind and spirit, though not in his body.
His body would have to die before he could be physically reborn as the cycle was designed to do, or so he had been taught in his childhood. Instead, he now realized he simply had to take his life one day a time and build his happiness himself, while spreading happiness and peace through the world as well. â Well now, servant, bring me some water and food, if you would be so kind. I am not too weak to go myself, I just want to eat and think in silence and peace. After, I will come out from this room. Tell the Lord Validrir for me, if you donât mind? I should speak with him, it seems.â he said, as he fell silent before walking over to his shield, lifting it and then placing it back on the ground, only flipped over. After that he sat within his shield and as he crossed his legs, he rested his shoulders on his knees and sat in the stereotypical meditative position as he closed his eyes.
He had never done any of this before, but he felt compelled to for some reason, and now that he sat there in his shield, he felt something strange. As if he were separated completely and entirely from the physical plane, and as if he were no longer within Validirâs tower. It seemed to him as if he had been transported to somewhere far beyond existence or reason, to the void where the creator exists, and the void within that being in which itâs creator existed. An endless, repeating cycle of birth, life, death, rebirth and birth again happening instantly and eternally all at once. He felt as if all knowledge and all the power one could ever fathom and even more were just outside of his reach, but still, he was slowly granted access to the endless annals of knowledge and experience within. In that instant, the expansion of his mind ended as returned to seeing and feeling as if he were simply in a bluish sphere of energy, surrounded by the endless unknown but still at peace.
Anderen did not feel regret or fear either, however, because the words Anigav had left him with were ever present on his mind, so even in oblivion, even in this abyss that was created somehow as a result of the shields concave shape and blessed nature. Strangely, he no longer felt weak, tired, or even hungry; he just felt thirsty, and that was it. At that thought he wondered what had become of the servant and his eyes opened, casting all of his visions and thoughts away as he looked to the doorway, now empty and with the door shut. However, there was a plate of food and a silver pitcher filled with what hen hoped was water.
He wanted the water, but he also didnât want to move, and because of that he sat another moment and thought. Finally, a thought flashed through his mind that made sense to him, though if he would have ever thought it before he knew he would have thought he was just crazy. Anderen realized a simple fact, but not why or how, and that fact was; If he focused, and wanted it enough, he could fold the space between himself and the glass and do two things, either reach out and grab it, or have it come to him. He chose to try the former, and after that he simply reached out with his right hand to grab the glass even though it was much too far away for him to reach. It was then that something happened that surprised him, and yet he knew it would happen. His hand vanished from his view and even from his forearm, and almost instantly he saw something move by the silver pitcher.
When he brought his gaze up to look at the source of movement, he saw it was his own hand, taking hold of the pitcherâs handle. He could even feel it in his hand, yet, the pitcher and his hand were across the room!? He could not explain how this was happening, but he was not afraid of it. Anderen knew this was what he was trying to do, though even with all of his faith and belief, there was still a sliver of doubt in him that it would even work. It did work, however, and now all of his doubts were gone as he pulled the pitcher toward him while watching his hovering hand holding the pitcher across the room. Just as soon as he had thought it, his hand began to slide back into emptiness, pulling the pitcher with it, and reforming instantly back into his sight as well as returning to his arm, pitcher in tow.
When his hand reformed before him with the pitcher in his grasp, he felt a pride with himself that was almost childish and conceited, and he realized these were not his own powers and abilities. These must be what Anigav had blessed him with, and with that thought he felt a sense of humility. Still, it doesnât mean I donât have my own inner powers and abilities that just need to be awakened as these were. I still have much to learn and live for⦠he thought, as he lifted the pitcher to his lips so he could drink. The pitcher was empty in one large gulp, and felt only slightly refreshed, but certainly much better then he had felt only seconds before. With that thought, Anderen got out of his shield and rose to his feet, lifting the shield as he did and strapping it to his back. He needed more water it seemed, so he would have to get it himself. He took hold of the door handle, and pulled the massive wood door open as he made his way from the room and down the hall to where he detected other life forces. Another of Anigavâs gifts, I suppose. He thought, continuing to walk down sunlit hallways.